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Forget donning the latest designer gear, because it is language, not labels, that'll set you apart from the pros on the slopes. Just like surfers before them, die hard skiers and snowboarders have evolved their own terminology. So if you don't want to look totally clueless, and expose yourself as an utter amateur when you hit the slopes, you best brush up on your snow slang!

Before you try to pass yourself as a real snowboarder make sure you familiarise yourself with the REAL meaning of these terms:

1) BONK
Stop sniggering. Despite the lewd connotations, to a snowboarder this means hitting a non-snow object as part of trick while riding your board.

2) FLEX
Put those muscles away and have a good look at your board. Flex refers to the amount if stiffness within a snowboard, and the optimal level of flex varies according to the different styles of riding.

3) TRANNY
No, this isn't a reference to the star of There's Something About Miriam - it's actually a small ditch or empty space that needs to be jumped over.

4) BACKSIDE
Of the cheek-free variety; the backside of a snowboard is side where your heels sit.

5) HOT DOG
Not just the snack of choice for American baseball fans, if someone yells out "hot dog" there's sure to be an attractive female snowboarder in the vicinity.

6) BINGO
Before you unleash your inner geek be aware that the pastime of choice for geriatrics hasn't suddenly become cool - bingo is the snowboarder's equivalent of a hat trick in cricket - pulling off three 360 degree turns in a row.

7) HERB
Forget oregano and basil - no snowboarder wants to be called a herb. Short for Herbert, to be branded a herb is to publicly denounced as a bad boarder.

8) FLAT BOTTOM
Encountering a flat bottom while snowboarding isn't spotting a cute derriere in a well-cut jumpsuit, it's actually part of the halfpipe between two walls.

9) ROCKER
Cut the visions of an aging Mick Jagger in leather pants - when a snowboard is placed on a flat surface and the weight rests only on the center of the board it's called a rocker.

10) CORDUROY
Not only a very unflattering material, corduroy also refers to the tracks left by snowcats cleaning a trail - true snowboarders know corduroy is fantastic for executing precise turns.

All you wannabe ski pros it's your turn now so listen up - before you take on mighty Treble Cone you would be wise to learn these words if you want to fit in with the diehard skiers:

1) DAWN PATROL
This isn't a bad remake of a 1970s sitcom - skiers who take part in the dawn patrol love to climb the mountain in the wee hours of the morning so they are at the summit in time for sunrise

2) CAULIFLOWER
Not just tasty with white sauce - when skiers talk about cauliflower they are not discussing tonight's dinner, they are actually referring to newly made snow in close proximity to a snowgun.

3) TOURON
Like herb, touron is not a term of endearment among skiers. A derivative of the words moron and tour, if you are condemned as a touron you're basically an idiot on holiday.

4) SPORE
Next to Touron, a Spore is one of the worst names you can earn yourself on the ski slopes. An acronym for Stupid Person On Rental Equipment it is a title few live down.

5) MOGULSEXUAL
It might sound like a strange sexual trend originating from China, but a mogulsexual is actually a mogulsexual skier is a person addicted to concussive shock. Mogulsexuals typically omit ecstatic grunt-like noises that would make John McEnroe proud as they hit each bump, and should be avoided at all costs.

6) MULDOON
Not that we would ever advise playing up on the Treble Cone ski fields, but if you are intent getting up to no good make sure you check the Muldoons (a.k.a. security guards) are not around first.

7) KODAK COURAGE
Like Dutch courage before it, Kodak courage can be very dangerous. To have Kodak courage when skiing is to be inspired to attempt difficult stunts that one would usually shy away from simply because of the presence of a mate's camera.

8) CODE W
If you hear a frantic cry that there is a "Code W - stat" followed by riotous laughter, look around for an befallen skier whose "injuries" may be somewhat less than life threatening. Need a further hint? "W" stands for wimp!

9) BULLETPROOF
No, Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't given up his post as Governor of California to make another quality action movie. When skiers toss around the term bulletproof snow they are talking about rock-hard, icy, make-no-impressions-in-it snow.

10) SQUAD
Similar to posse or homies, your "squad" is your regular gang of skiing companions.