Things to See in Milan

Founded in the 4th century by Milan's patron saint Ambroggio, this church has been repaired, rebuilt and restored many times and is a hotchpotch of styles. The shorter of the two bell towers dates to the 9th century as does the canopy over the altar inside. The saint himself is buried in the crypt and his body can be viewed in spooky desiccated form.

Milan's Duomo is the world's fourth-largest church. This late-Gothic wonder features a forest of spires and statuary, marble pinnacles and pillars, all woven together with a web of flying buttresses. Gian Galeazzo Visconti had grand designs on the city in 1387, and rallied support for the massive new Duomo. The view from the roof is the city's finest.

To imagine the ingenuity of the Renaissance, you kind of had to be there - and at the Pinacoteca di Brera, you can be. Stroll through frozen medieval tableaux produced in anonymous workshops, and suddenly you'll leap forward into relatable human dramas from the revolutions of Raphael, and Piero della Francesca to the refinements of Caravaggio and Tintoretto.

Back in the Italian city-state days, you never knew when visiting dignitaries might decide to take over while they were in the neighbourhood - hence the popularity of castle strongholds. As a major centre for trade, Milan had plenty of assets to protect, and built the Castello Sforzesco in grand style and scale to let outsiders know it meant business.

'Untutored hands may not touch me', are the words of a true diva, inscribed here on an 18th-century spinette (piano). Harlequino costumes and playing cards left at La Scala also hint at centuries of Milanese musical drama. Portraits show Rossini chatting up patrons, while Verdi seems troubled by mixed reviews, and Callas a goddess towering above critique.

Lust for labels may have brought you to Quadrilatero d'Oro, but this house-made tagliolini with shrimp and zucchini blossoms may inspire you to take up permanent residence. If you can get past the primi (first courses) and the wood-fired pizzas, try the heartbreakingly tender carpaccio with arugula and grana padano cheese with the sprightly white Vernaccia.

Prozac is no match for 40 bocconi perfetti (perfect bites) of cold cuts and cheeses, 60 varieties of wine, and a serotonin-laced hot-pepper-chocolate soufflé. The manic pink and green pop-art decor looks on the bright side of every day or night by the Navigli.

A Milanese recipe for instant nostalgia: Take the landmark building where Ho Chi Minh stayed in the 1930s, add literary types from nearby Mondadori and Rizzoli publishing houses, mix with Milanese comfort food and plenty of wine, then finish with tarte tatin that would make Marcel Proust weep. Repeat as necessary.

How does Plastic keep throngs at the door six days a week, in a town as fickle about hot spots as footwear? Simple: strong drinks, fresh DJ line-ups each season, dim lighting and low seating to encourage a certain amount of groping. Saturdays are Bordello Night and Sundays are pan-sexual free-for-alls that make Studio 54 seem amateurish - go early, or face ruthless door selection after 21:00.

Ties and tongues get progressively looser as happy hour devolves into dinner - and once dancing kicks in, you never know where they'll end up. A good place to go if you don't want to stray from central Milan, La Banque really was a bank before the clerks moved out and the clubbers moved in. Some of the bank's grand furnishings have been retained.

Go club-hopping without leaving this many-splendoured nightlife theme park, Milan's premier gay club since 1975. One room features ballroom dancing with an orchestra and tiaras galore; the next has cages with greased-up gogo dancers plying their trade in nosebleed-inducing heels. At the centre of it all, Milan's most celebrated transvestites are constantly putting Fashion Week runways to shame.