You can plan a city, but you can't give it buzz. Here are the capitals that got the nod but just can't get it shakin'
Right now, the two major parties in the USA and Australia are fighting frenetic election campaigns over control of capitals that, if their nation's founders had had any sense, simply wouldn't exist. Washington DC has shocking social problems - its murder rate is scandalous - while Canberra, the progeny of Sydney and Melbourne's refusal to let the other be the capital, is ignored by most tourists, unsurprisingly, as its most famous attraction is a roundabout.
But Canberra and Washington aren't the only badly-planned capitals. The folly and vanity of rulers has often been memorialised in cities that were supposed to be glorious but fell horribly short, condemning those forced to live there to gaze wistfully at the larger, more interesting cities. Here's a quick tour of some of the world's most poorly conceived capitals.
Nigeria | Brazil | Pakistan | Canada | Burma
Nigeria contains over 250 ethnic groups, many with a history of conflict, so it's not surprising that there was a movement towards an independent capital. But in 1975 the Nigerian Government chose a town smack-bang in the middle of the country, and decided to evict the entire Gwari population. The evictions continue to this day: the regional government forces locals to move by the thousands to the outskirts of Abuja. This attempt to avoid a descent into the overcrowding and chaos of the former capital, Lagos, has also succeeded in purging the city of what was a rich cultural heritage.
As a result, the Nigerian capital's major tourist attraction is a 400m-high rock, which goes some way towards justifying Lonely Planet's assessment that 'there really isn't much to do in Abuja'. (The city was still outraged, however, when it was beaten out by Glasgow in the bid for the 2014 Commonwealth Games.)
The architect of this planned city in the middle of Brazil thought his design resembled a beautiful butterfly. Most people think it looks more like an aeroplane. But whatever Brasilia looks like, it's a classic illustration of the problems of planned capitals. Its builders achieved an extraordinary transformation of a desert site, but character has proved harder to come by.
Although its iconic modernist buildings - some by Oscar Niemeyer - have won the city a World Heritage Order, Brasilia offers little to those who aren't architecture buffs. There is the usual assortment of public institutions and a large artificial lake, but none of the excitement that draws so many to the rest of Brazil. Despite the best efforts of planners, you simply can't designate an area for 'buzz'.
This city was founded in the 1960s because the then President, Ayub Khan, felt the country was too focused on Karachi (it is the tendency of all genuinely interesting capitals to dominate their nations). The city is cleaner and greener than anywhere else in Pakistan, and there is some pleasant modernist architecture, but the rigid central plan forgot to include any of the liveliness that attracts visitors to the subcontinent, instead aiming for the prettified (and sterile) aesthetic typical of many planned capitals.
This lifelessness is most evident in the decision not to bother with suburb names, and instead to divide the city into alphanumeric sectors. Most diplomats are housed in sectors E-6 to E-18, for instance, while the major hospital is in G-8.
Like most planned capitals, Ottawa arose from a political compromise. When it was chosen in 1857, it was the only settlement of any size on the border between the French- and English-speaking territories. But the choice seemed so arbitrary that a legend arose that Queen Victoria had chosen it by sticking a hairpin into a map.
Though Ottawa has many highbrow but dull institutions, like the National Gallery and Arts Centre, its name is a synonym in Canada for 'boring' - as you'd expect in a city where most people work for the Federal Government. Worse still, Ottawa's second-largest employer is the high-tech sector, which helps explain why 'O-town' (a nickname which may be a score out of ten rather than an abbreviation) is not exactly known for its nightlife. But what can you expect from a city that decided to call its busiest downtown sector 'Centretown'?
Two years ago, Myanmar's bureaucrats were suddenly told they were relocating from Yangon (Rangoon) to a brand new capital, Nay Pyi Daw - and with 24 hours' notice. It's not clear why the generals moved the capital; speculation ranges from fears of a seaborne invasion of Yangon to the advice of Senior General Than Shwe's soothsayers. It's located in a mountainous central region, in thick malaria-infested jungle; the city's only residents are public servants and the military, who are housed in bland, identical apartment blocks.
Much basic infrastructure is still missing - you can only get there on a military aircraft or by spending nine hours on the train from Yangon, and there are no international flights or mobile phone networks. The capital's major claim to fame is that, unlike the rest of Myanmar, it gets electricity 24 hours a day. If that doesn't thrill you, it isn't much worth visiting the city whose name, ironically, means 'Abode of Kings'.
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